im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
