How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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