Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
