K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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