no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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