You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you would pick up someone in the library
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize