grandma shit on top of the toilet
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
my poor anus
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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