okay pat passed out under dana's car
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I want her autograph on my taint
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
