you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
tell me about the fingering
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