you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You've changed since you got that strap on
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
