hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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