i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
