Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
