if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
