ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
