Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
