I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize