I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
