She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
