used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
