i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
zippers are such a cool invention
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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