Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
