Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
