It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
