how can u be prego again
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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