Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
