I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
