with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
