Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
