i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
only if we run a train.
done.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
