I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
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