So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
