from now on my penis is your penis
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
