I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize