using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
