I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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