NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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