well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize