he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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