fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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