apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
