I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
