haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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