you're like a bully in the Christmas story
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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