so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
