She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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