Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
