dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
