in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
