Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize