He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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