I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
