The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
