apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
