I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
