I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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