I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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