I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
