It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
