I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
