Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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