i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
