You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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